Jesus christ the WWF is going to murder me

As one does, I was checking my emails and saw an unusual one that looked like it belonged in spam:

Sender: Monte Hummel
Subject: [Name], what made her do it?
Preview line: :PANDA EMOJI: Some decisions are easy to make

So I googled who 'Monte Hummel' was. Well, he's in charge of the World Wildlife F-something. I donate to them sometimes as a gift to Hina. Okay, so it was probably a legit email.

I opened it.

Well, some lady left the WWF money in her will so they thought the sane and normal thing to do was to email me instructions on how to add them to my will. Like that's just something you do.

I'll be informing them that my assets will be liquidated to build a pyramid tomb upon my death.*

I considered a bounty on pandas - they're no longer endangered, but I can fix that.


*I'm just going to delete the email and try to ignore the nagging dread that this is how the true crime story starts.

how am I supposed to get anything done AND sleep?

Petition to add six more hours to the day. Please. I need them.