Jesus christ the WWF is going to murder me

[crantz]

As one does, I was checking my emails and saw an unusual one that looked like it belonged in spam:

Sender: Monte Hummel
Subject: [Name], what made her do it?
Preview line: :PANDA EMOJI: Some decisions are easy to make

So I googled who 'Monte Hummel' was. Well, he's in charge of the World Wildlife F-something. I donate to them sometimes as a gift to Hina. Okay, so it was probably a legit email.

I opened it.

Well, some lady left the WWF money in her will so they thought the sane and normal thing to do was to email me instructions on how to add them to my will. Like that's just something you do.

I'll be informing them that my assets will be liquidated to build a pyramid tomb upon my death.*

I considered a bounty on pandas - they're no longer endangered, but I can fix that.


*I'm just going to delete the email and try to ignore the nagging dread that this is how the true crime story starts.

Comments

[ashenmote]

I started reading this with the understanding that WWF is the Word Wrestling Foundation.

I think this is something the Catholic church likes to propose to promising old ladies (and nuns, obviously), but I don't think they do it in Email yet.

I like the name Monte Hummel, though. Hummel is what we call a bumbelbee.

[crantz]

To be fair, the only reason I even realized it wasn't wrestlers at first was the panda emoji. They're big on pandas. And taking money from my cold dead body.

Yeah, I'm not exactly promising or old yet too. Thanks for making me contemplate my mortality! I'm only 34! I can still have all bread suppers!

It's a good name, but poor judgement.

[ashenmote]

I saw the bit with the emoji, but I assumed Monte Hummel could be a Panda-themed wrestler or something.

[crantz]

Pandas: they already come masked!

[herdivineshadow]

I feel like we did legacy awareness month in November. The worst mailing the charity I work for sends out is the one about legacies because inevitable it will be sent to someone who has recently died, or has recently lost someone and people get upset.

[crantz]

That's a yikes from me at even contemplating being in that situation.

[alyarqam]

I used to collect WWF stickers when I was a kid (my mom is an environmentalist botanist), but in the past few years I heard about their abuses in the Congo and Central Africa and have gotten really disillusioned with them. :(

[crantz]

Just looked that up. Ugh. I'll ask Hina for a different charity. Especially since they were already on thin ice salivating for my death.

[alyarqam]

Sorry for ruining it!

[crantz]

No, we both prefer to know rather than be ignorant.

[phosfate]

Our local PBS station is big on that. Also there are several charities who want our shitty old cars, I assume to sell for parts.

[crantz]

Do you think the WWF wants my parts?

[phosfate]

No, but PETA probably does.

[crantz]

get thee behind me